How do I make this pain go away?

This week has sucked. This day has been shitty. Tomorrow is going to be even shittier.
One year ago, was the beginning of the hardest year my family and I would ever experience and it's just plain shitty. The pain sucks and never goes away. It stays there, and lingers and since it wont go away, I just want to numb it, but I know that wont work. I want to give up on school, work, life, and just everything, put myself in a box and just stay there, where no one can find me and ask me why I'm upset or why I'm crying. I'm tired of explaining it. This is just shitty, shitty, shitty. I hate this. The smallest things are making me cry lately and I hate that too. I hate feeling like I have to be strong. Everyone tells me that I don't have to be, but that doesn't change the way I feel. uuuggghhhhhh.......I'm going to bed, even though I don't want to because that means I'm going to wake up and it's going to be tomorrow, but not getting any sleep wont stop tomorrow from coming, so I may as well get sleep. Sorry for the swear words, but I believe in expressing how I feel, and that is just how I feel right now.