To whom ever reads my blogs.....sorry if I post too much of boring stuff, but I've seriously become addicted to blogging about all the fun, meaningful, interesting, and even hard things that go on in my life. It's so fun to write it down.
Tonight, I went over my friend, Tasha's, house at 9. We were suppose to watch Glee, but it hasn't been on for like 3 weeks. It actually airs on Tuesdays, and she records it on her DVR and then we watch it on Thursday nights. A couple other people came over to to watch it too. Anyway, went over there, and it wasn't on. So instead we turned on the Office. While some people watched the Office, Tasha and I were cleaning her apartment off and on, mainly her kitchen. Whenever I'm at Tasha's, I am always helping her pick up a little bit. Gifts of service is one of strongest my love languages. (Physical touch is my other one). If I see something that needs to be done, I'll usually do it because it blesses them (unless they don't want me too of course).
After the Office was over and everyone had left and the apartment was pretty much cleaned up, Tasha and I were sitting at the table just chatting about random stuff. As we're chatting, she told me something very meaningful to me. She told me that she really values me and our friendship. Even if I didn't help clean up her apartment, she just really enjoys our friendship. She told me that I just always have a good attitude, and that I'm always willing to do whatever is asked of me, and that I just am so fun to hang out with. Now words of affirmation is not one of my love languages, but hearing all that from Tasha really made me feel so good. Who wouldn't feel good after hearing that?!?! She is the only friend that has verbally told me that. I know that I mean a lot to my friends, I know I'm valued by them, but to be verbally reminded that I'm valued is nice. I seriously love hanging out with Tasha. She's just so much fun, and I can just be so real with her. Not that I can't be real with my other friends, but with Tasha, because she's a little older then me, it's like she can be a mother, big sister, and friend to me. A lot of the time, being away from home, I really need a mother influence and advice and she is there for me. There just aren't words to describe how much I enjoy her in my life and how much she means to me. She is just so awesome. Life is just so great with her in it. On Saturday, we're going to a pumpkin patch, (Anna Duzik and Dinesha Lowden are coming too) and I am waaaayyyy excited. I've NEVER been to one. Isn't that sad? We're gonna grab coffee on the way there (Pumpkin Spice Latte of course). I'm seriously hoping for it to be cold so I can bundle up, and I really wanna wear my rain boots because it will probably be muddy. I will probably wear rain boots regardless. I am just so in love with my life and the people in it. I have a great life. I'm seriously so blessed. I love you all so much.
Side note: After realizing how much I like hearing that I'm valued, I am going to start telling my friends and family on a daily basis how much they mean to me. It's going to be hard to remember because words of affirmation is not one of my love languages or one of my strong suits, but I think people like to hear it, so that's what I'm going to try to remember to do. People need to know how much they mean to me and how they bless me by being in my life.
P.S. The title of this blog was the song I was listening to when I was ready to post the blog and I couldn't come up with a name.....hahaha. Look it up. It's a good song.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Loving and Laughing
So I was at Starbucks from 2-5pm today. I ran into Jordan Fehlen, so I sat down next to him. Once the big table became available, I moved there, but I just moved my computer. I left my purse, Bible, and Journal in the chair next to Jordan. I did a little bit of Theology 3 homework but my attention span on it was going in and out. I kind of gave up on homework at about 4. Funny and fun things started to occur so I'm going to list them.
Anna Duzik randomly texted me to tell me she missed me. I invited her to go to the pumpkin patch with Tasha and I on Saturday. She's coming! Super excited about that. P.S. I've never been to a pumpkin patch so I'm bubbling with excitement about that.
Kristen Nix and I were chatting on facebook and talking about if she was coming to the pumpkin patch or not (she's still not sure, but hoping she does come) but we also kind of half planned to hang out at her house sometime this weekend because her parents are going to be gone. I'm gonna be super excited if it works out. Living in the dorms at school make me miss being in a home, with a kitchen, and a couch, and parents. Side note: It's interesting what you miss while in school and then what makes it better. Being able to sleep in a house and eat in the kitchen helps with the homesickness, even if it's not my house. I don't know how, it just does.
This happened last night, but it's still cool. Ryan Abuyen lets me borrow his car all the time. Whenever I need it, he lets me use it, unless he needs it of course. We take turns putting gas in it. Last night he asked me if I would drive him to the train station Burbank, CA, using his car. It's about 30 minutes away. He's going to go home for five days and he said I could just use his car for the whole time he's gone. He's such a blessing. To have access to a car helps me out so much.
Okay, back to today. My Dad called me. I answered the phone; "Hi Daddy" and Jordan laughed at me. He called to tell me that he booked my plane ticket for Thanksgiving break. I'm driving to Portland with Jake Moyer and then we're flying back to California because he's leaving his car at his house. I'm sooooo excited to be able to go home for Thanksgiving. I didn't get to last year.
When I was sitting at the table at Starbucks, a stranger asked me if he could sit down at the table with me (it's a big table and has room for two people with laptops). My first thought was "STRANGER DANGER". That's what my Mom engraved into my head as a small child. I looked at Jordan and he started to laugh at me. I told the guy that he could sit down at the table with me. I wasn't going to be rude. That wouldn't be nice. Besides, there was plenty of room for both of us to sit at the table. He asked me if I was from Oregon because I had on my Oregon Ducks sweatshirt. I told him that I'm actually from Washington, but I grew up 10 minutes from Oregon and I like the Ducks.
About 20 minutes after the guy sat down, Jordan and I left because dinner was going to be soon.
On the way home from Starbucks, I accidentally cut Jordan off. I apologized when we got back to campus. He told me that he thought I was trying to race him. I don't race, especially in a car that's not mine. I always think of what could happen; my life at steak and the lives of others. Also after we got home, Jordan told me that I made it look like to others that he is gay because I left my purple purse and pinkish Bible on the chair next to him. I guess it gave the impression to other people that it was his. I told him that he should of asked me to move it. He told me that that would give the impression that we're dating......I'm not sure how that logic works, but whatever. When he was telling me this though, I was laughing so hard I was crying. It's good to laugh like that. I wish I laughed like that everyday.
After dinner, I went to counseling. It was good. I cried but it was good to cry. I love going to counseling.
Later, I went to the Loop. Beth Mead was teaching people how to knit. She's trying to teach me. I'm learning. It would be nice if I could get good at it. I don't really have any hobbies or anything I'm good at. I don't do any sports, play any instruments, and I'm not an artist, so it would be cool if I learned. She said that even though the kitting needles look like weapons, they are allowed on planes, so I could take it on the plane. Right now I'm learning how to knit little baby booties for children in Africa. Our school is trying to get people to make as many booties as possible and then they will get sent to Africa.
Well that is all the fun and funny things that happened today. It's been a good day.
Anna Duzik randomly texted me to tell me she missed me. I invited her to go to the pumpkin patch with Tasha and I on Saturday. She's coming! Super excited about that. P.S. I've never been to a pumpkin patch so I'm bubbling with excitement about that.
Kristen Nix and I were chatting on facebook and talking about if she was coming to the pumpkin patch or not (she's still not sure, but hoping she does come) but we also kind of half planned to hang out at her house sometime this weekend because her parents are going to be gone. I'm gonna be super excited if it works out. Living in the dorms at school make me miss being in a home, with a kitchen, and a couch, and parents. Side note: It's interesting what you miss while in school and then what makes it better. Being able to sleep in a house and eat in the kitchen helps with the homesickness, even if it's not my house. I don't know how, it just does.
This happened last night, but it's still cool. Ryan Abuyen lets me borrow his car all the time. Whenever I need it, he lets me use it, unless he needs it of course. We take turns putting gas in it. Last night he asked me if I would drive him to the train station Burbank, CA, using his car. It's about 30 minutes away. He's going to go home for five days and he said I could just use his car for the whole time he's gone. He's such a blessing. To have access to a car helps me out so much.
Okay, back to today. My Dad called me. I answered the phone; "Hi Daddy" and Jordan laughed at me. He called to tell me that he booked my plane ticket for Thanksgiving break. I'm driving to Portland with Jake Moyer and then we're flying back to California because he's leaving his car at his house. I'm sooooo excited to be able to go home for Thanksgiving. I didn't get to last year.
When I was sitting at the table at Starbucks, a stranger asked me if he could sit down at the table with me (it's a big table and has room for two people with laptops). My first thought was "STRANGER DANGER". That's what my Mom engraved into my head as a small child. I looked at Jordan and he started to laugh at me. I told the guy that he could sit down at the table with me. I wasn't going to be rude. That wouldn't be nice. Besides, there was plenty of room for both of us to sit at the table. He asked me if I was from Oregon because I had on my Oregon Ducks sweatshirt. I told him that I'm actually from Washington, but I grew up 10 minutes from Oregon and I like the Ducks.
About 20 minutes after the guy sat down, Jordan and I left because dinner was going to be soon.
On the way home from Starbucks, I accidentally cut Jordan off. I apologized when we got back to campus. He told me that he thought I was trying to race him. I don't race, especially in a car that's not mine. I always think of what could happen; my life at steak and the lives of others. Also after we got home, Jordan told me that I made it look like to others that he is gay because I left my purple purse and pinkish Bible on the chair next to him. I guess it gave the impression to other people that it was his. I told him that he should of asked me to move it. He told me that that would give the impression that we're dating......I'm not sure how that logic works, but whatever. When he was telling me this though, I was laughing so hard I was crying. It's good to laugh like that. I wish I laughed like that everyday.
After dinner, I went to counseling. It was good. I cried but it was good to cry. I love going to counseling.
Later, I went to the Loop. Beth Mead was teaching people how to knit. She's trying to teach me. I'm learning. It would be nice if I could get good at it. I don't really have any hobbies or anything I'm good at. I don't do any sports, play any instruments, and I'm not an artist, so it would be cool if I learned. She said that even though the kitting needles look like weapons, they are allowed on planes, so I could take it on the plane. Right now I'm learning how to knit little baby booties for children in Africa. Our school is trying to get people to make as many booties as possible and then they will get sent to Africa.
Well that is all the fun and funny things that happened today. It's been a good day.
Frustration
So this is going to be a little bit of a vent......
A couple days ago, my little sister's (Haylie; she'll be 20 in December) status was this..."Full coverage insurance is a pain to pay for every month to say the least but at this moment I don't know what I would do without it!" The very first thing I thought of was that she was in a car accident. Obviously she would be okay because she updated here status, but I still wanted to here her voice and know that she was okay, so I called her. I saw the status at about midnight and it said she had posted it at about 10pm. I knew she would be asleep because she either had work or school early the next day, but I didn't care, I called her anyway. I called and she answered with her sleepy voice and I asked her what her status was about and if she was in an accident. She said she was fine and that she wasn't in an accident and that she would tell me what happened later. So I said okay. I called her the next day but she didn't answer and she didn't ever call me back. I was talking to my Dad yesterday about getting a plane ticket for Thanksgiving break. After we were done talking about the plane ticket, I asked him if he knew anything about what was going on with Haylie. He said that somehow the oil tank on her car got a leak in it and it started leaking out all the oil and then she drove for two weeks with an oil leak and eventually driving with no oil and it ruined her engine. Dad said that he is still waiting to here back from the insurance to see how much they are going to cover and how everything is going to work out. He said he's really stressed because no matter what he will have to pay the deductible and it's going to be really expensive.
Now here's the stressful part. Haylie doesn't give my dad the time of day, EVER. The only time she ever calls him is when she needs something from him, usually money wise. She doesn't ever call him just to talk and catch up, return his phone calls, or spend time with him. She has made it clear that she doesn't want anything to do with him.......except when things get hard for her and she needs him to bail her out. She's expecting him to pay whatever the insurance wont cover and if need be, supply her with a new car. I have told her that I know it's really hard to have a relationship with him because he is so closed off and not good at communicating and it can be really hard to love him sometimes, but the least you could do is try and act like you care about him. She tells me that I should not be asking him to buy me a plane ticket for Thanksgiving break, but what she doesn't understand is that I try really hard to have somewhat of a relationship with Dad, and asking him for money is my very last resort, when it's her first resort. I know that I have to work hard if I want to receive a pay check and I do not expect anyone to just hand me anything. Dad and I came to an agreement that he will pay half of the ticket and I will pay the other half out of the money that I am saving for a new computer. My Dad will end up paying for everything for Haylie because he loves his daughter, no matter what. It's really hard for him to show us that he loves us, but I know he does, because of things like that; paying for what should be Haylie's responsibility even when she doesn't ever give him the time of day and doesn't deserve anything from him. Haylie will never learn though when my dad always bails her out, and it breaks my heart. Praying for Haylie to accept the Lord and start living for Him is one of my daily prayers.
Sorry if that was boring for you, but I had to get it out, I had to vent.
P.S. I'm really sorry if this makes me seem self righteous and stuck up, because that's not my intent or my heart, and if you read this without knowing me, it probably makes me seem like I think I'm better then my sister. I am no better then anyone else. I am messed up like everyone else, I just know that I have salvation in Jesus Christ, but that does not make me "better". I just wish my sister would make better decisions for her life and start living for the Lord. I love her nonetheless though. I will always love Haylie. I have unconditional love for my baby sister, no matter how frustrating she is. Thanks for reading!
A couple days ago, my little sister's (Haylie; she'll be 20 in December) status was this..."Full coverage insurance is a pain to pay for every month to say the least but at this moment I don't know what I would do without it!" The very first thing I thought of was that she was in a car accident. Obviously she would be okay because she updated here status, but I still wanted to here her voice and know that she was okay, so I called her. I saw the status at about midnight and it said she had posted it at about 10pm. I knew she would be asleep because she either had work or school early the next day, but I didn't care, I called her anyway. I called and she answered with her sleepy voice and I asked her what her status was about and if she was in an accident. She said she was fine and that she wasn't in an accident and that she would tell me what happened later. So I said okay. I called her the next day but she didn't answer and she didn't ever call me back. I was talking to my Dad yesterday about getting a plane ticket for Thanksgiving break. After we were done talking about the plane ticket, I asked him if he knew anything about what was going on with Haylie. He said that somehow the oil tank on her car got a leak in it and it started leaking out all the oil and then she drove for two weeks with an oil leak and eventually driving with no oil and it ruined her engine. Dad said that he is still waiting to here back from the insurance to see how much they are going to cover and how everything is going to work out. He said he's really stressed because no matter what he will have to pay the deductible and it's going to be really expensive.
Now here's the stressful part. Haylie doesn't give my dad the time of day, EVER. The only time she ever calls him is when she needs something from him, usually money wise. She doesn't ever call him just to talk and catch up, return his phone calls, or spend time with him. She has made it clear that she doesn't want anything to do with him.......except when things get hard for her and she needs him to bail her out. She's expecting him to pay whatever the insurance wont cover and if need be, supply her with a new car. I have told her that I know it's really hard to have a relationship with him because he is so closed off and not good at communicating and it can be really hard to love him sometimes, but the least you could do is try and act like you care about him. She tells me that I should not be asking him to buy me a plane ticket for Thanksgiving break, but what she doesn't understand is that I try really hard to have somewhat of a relationship with Dad, and asking him for money is my very last resort, when it's her first resort. I know that I have to work hard if I want to receive a pay check and I do not expect anyone to just hand me anything. Dad and I came to an agreement that he will pay half of the ticket and I will pay the other half out of the money that I am saving for a new computer. My Dad will end up paying for everything for Haylie because he loves his daughter, no matter what. It's really hard for him to show us that he loves us, but I know he does, because of things like that; paying for what should be Haylie's responsibility even when she doesn't ever give him the time of day and doesn't deserve anything from him. Haylie will never learn though when my dad always bails her out, and it breaks my heart. Praying for Haylie to accept the Lord and start living for Him is one of my daily prayers.
Sorry if that was boring for you, but I had to get it out, I had to vent.
P.S. I'm really sorry if this makes me seem self righteous and stuck up, because that's not my intent or my heart, and if you read this without knowing me, it probably makes me seem like I think I'm better then my sister. I am no better then anyone else. I am messed up like everyone else, I just know that I have salvation in Jesus Christ, but that does not make me "better". I just wish my sister would make better decisions for her life and start living for the Lord. I love her nonetheless though. I will always love Haylie. I have unconditional love for my baby sister, no matter how frustrating she is. Thanks for reading!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Comfort
As I've said, I love country music. Here are some lyrics to a song that I got stuck in my head....
Love don't run
Love don't hide
It wont turn away,
or back down from a fight
Sometimes you don't need words. Sometimes you just need someone to sit on the couch with you, rub your back and play with your hair until you fall asleep. I'm here when you need me, that's what being a good friend is all about. I love the people in my life. That's all I have for tonight.
The lyrics don't really have to do with anything, they're just stuck in my head.
Love don't run
Love don't hide
It wont turn away,
or back down from a fight
Sometimes you don't need words. Sometimes you just need someone to sit on the couch with you, rub your back and play with your hair until you fall asleep. I'm here when you need me, that's what being a good friend is all about. I love the people in my life. That's all I have for tonight.
The lyrics don't really have to do with anything, they're just stuck in my head.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Hello world!
I'm really excited about starting to blog. Getting my thoughts and feelings out is good for me. I hope you're able to get to know me a little bit about me through this. The title of my blog is a title of a country song. I love it because I love being barefoot. I grew up on a farm. I had a nice pair of shoes for school and church and rain boots for the rainy and winter seasons. Other then that, I didn't ever wear shoes. I love the feeling of being barefoot, it's so freeing. If I have to wear shoes when I don't want too (like summerish/warmish weather), I'll wear flip flops or Toms or something that is the least amount of shoe on my foot.
I'm listing to country music on my Pandora as I type this. I have my room and my whole quad to myself because everyone went home for the long weekend and my roommate is spending the night at a friend's house, so my music is on and my light is on and it's 2am. I love being able to do what I want. I'm even going to play my Pandora all night and sleep with the window open. I love falling asleep to music, but I usually can't because my roommate doesn't like it. I guess I could use headphones, but it's not the same. I love my roommate, but it's nice to have space to myself every so often, just to be free to do what I want. I also love the cool breeze in my room. Let the cool breeze come in and wrap up in my blankets. Oh my word, so good.
I sat with Molly Rich and Lauren Manser at lunch today. We got to talking about what we want to do with out lives and we were then talking about my family. Lauren asked me about my family, so I told her a little bit. I told her about Scott, my sister Amber, my nieces and nephews and some other things. They started to feel really bad for me after hearing a little bit of my story, but I didn't want them too. I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me. I love that people have compassion for me and I'm glad to have my friends there in my off days, but feeling sorry for me doesn't get anyone anywhere, so it's not necessary. Anyway, Lauren asked if she could add me to her prayer list, and I said absolutely. She opened her computer, and asked me to write down all the names that I would want her to pray for, so I wrote down mom, dad, sisters, nieces and nephews. That was so incredibly nice of her. Knowing that they are praying for me and my family made me feel not so invisible and unnoticed as I do most of the time. I love Molly and Lauren.
I'm heading to Disneyland tomorrow for the whole day, since we don't have school. I'm so excited. I haven't spent the whole day at Disneyland in a really long time. It's gonna be tiring, but I'm still really excited. Oh man, it's almost 2am, I should probably go to sleep because we're leaving at 9.
Oh...one more thing, Kristen and I hung out a little bit tonight for the first time in a while, but she was tired so she went to bed kind of early. She felt bad, but I didn't want her too. She needed sleep. Anyway, we're hanging out on Saturday morning and afternoon. We're going to go to breakfast, stay in our pajamas, put on cartoons, and do whatever we feel like doing. I'm really excited about that.
Well anyway, sleep time. Sorry if my blogging is random and boring to you. It's just me being me.
I'm listing to country music on my Pandora as I type this. I have my room and my whole quad to myself because everyone went home for the long weekend and my roommate is spending the night at a friend's house, so my music is on and my light is on and it's 2am. I love being able to do what I want. I'm even going to play my Pandora all night and sleep with the window open. I love falling asleep to music, but I usually can't because my roommate doesn't like it. I guess I could use headphones, but it's not the same. I love my roommate, but it's nice to have space to myself every so often, just to be free to do what I want. I also love the cool breeze in my room. Let the cool breeze come in and wrap up in my blankets. Oh my word, so good.
I sat with Molly Rich and Lauren Manser at lunch today. We got to talking about what we want to do with out lives and we were then talking about my family. Lauren asked me about my family, so I told her a little bit. I told her about Scott, my sister Amber, my nieces and nephews and some other things. They started to feel really bad for me after hearing a little bit of my story, but I didn't want them too. I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me. I love that people have compassion for me and I'm glad to have my friends there in my off days, but feeling sorry for me doesn't get anyone anywhere, so it's not necessary. Anyway, Lauren asked if she could add me to her prayer list, and I said absolutely. She opened her computer, and asked me to write down all the names that I would want her to pray for, so I wrote down mom, dad, sisters, nieces and nephews. That was so incredibly nice of her. Knowing that they are praying for me and my family made me feel not so invisible and unnoticed as I do most of the time. I love Molly and Lauren.
I'm heading to Disneyland tomorrow for the whole day, since we don't have school. I'm so excited. I haven't spent the whole day at Disneyland in a really long time. It's gonna be tiring, but I'm still really excited. Oh man, it's almost 2am, I should probably go to sleep because we're leaving at 9.
Oh...one more thing, Kristen and I hung out a little bit tonight for the first time in a while, but she was tired so she went to bed kind of early. She felt bad, but I didn't want her too. She needed sleep. Anyway, we're hanging out on Saturday morning and afternoon. We're going to go to breakfast, stay in our pajamas, put on cartoons, and do whatever we feel like doing. I'm really excited about that.
Well anyway, sleep time. Sorry if my blogging is random and boring to you. It's just me being me.
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